Carpe Diem
by soccerglory
Summary: Our favorite topic! Speculation on Adrift.


Title: Carpe Diem  
Email Address: jfrules11@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG-13  
Classification: Angst/Romance(H/M)  
Summary: Speculation on Adrift.  
  
Disclaimer: JAG is the property of..well, you know who...CBS etc., etc(althoug i wish i owned Harm...scrumptous:D)  
Author's Note: There are two dreams in this story. It might be hard to understand where the dreams are because I don't know how to get italics to work or anything(that sucks). I hope you guys can figure it out.  
  
0400 EST  
MAC'S APARTMENT  
  
Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie was sitting rigidly on a barstool by her phone. Her beauty was marred by tear stained cheeks and large bags under her eyes, evidence of how much sleep she'd had - or, lack there of. Having been awake for almost twenty-four hours, it was hard to keep her eyes open. The war she was waging against her own body to sleep was being lost, but, being a Marine, she didn't go without a fight.  
She had run from her own rehearsal dinner just hours before. Her dress was still on, she hadn't bothered to change it; in fact, she hadn't moved from the barstool in four hours.  
"Harm, where are you," she mumbled as she drifted of to sleep.  
  
0400 EST  
NORTH ATLANTIC OCEAN  
  
Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. was still thrashing about in the sea, as he had been doing for the past...God knows how many hours. But the last thing he wanted to think of was time. Mac would be getting married at oh-eleven-hundred tomorrow - or maybe it was today by now - and there was nothing he could do about it.  
Then again, maybe time wasn't the last thing he wanted to think about; because, as he tried not to think about time, he started thinking about the ocean and what lived in it. Now Harm wasn't one to get scared easily, but it was hard not to be afraid when you've been floating in the ocean for hours, not knowing what was below you in the deep, dark, frigid waters. Then of course were the thoughts of, "Maybe I'll never get out of here."  
But worst of all, was the fatigue. It was so overwhelming, so powerful, that he could barely fight his body's urge to pass out. But he knew full well that he had to fight as best he could, not passing out would be the only thing to keep him alive.  
As his fingers and toes started to freeze he prayed to God he would get one more chance with his Marine.  
  
0415 EST  
MAC'S APARTMENT  
  
With a flash of light the plane went down, a look of horror on the pilot's face as he plummeted towards the angry sea, ejecting at the last possible second.  
  
~*~ A Sailor went to sea, sea, sea ~*~  
  
The cords of his parachute entangled him as he sank at was seemed like as sickeningly slow pace, but was really rather fast. As he sank, he passed fish, eels, and all sorts of sea creatures. The pressure soon became excruciating.  
  
~*~ To see what he could see, see, see ~*~  
  
The most terrifying though, was the shark that circled him, unrelenting, even as he sank hopelessly.  
  
~*~ But all that he could see, see, see ~*~  
  
He hit the sea floor without a sound and the shark circled in closer on its prey.  
  
~*~ Was the bottom of the deep blue sea, sea, sea ~*~  
  
That taunting voice kept singing the familiar tune in her head as the shark closed in, but then Mac was wakened by the phone. She lifted her head quickly and stared at the phone, breathing heavily. The dream had scared the hell out of her, but that was not the only reason she was breathing heavily. Who was on the other end?  
She picked up the phone,  
"Hello?" she said, shakily.  
"Hey, luv," said the voice on the other end, way too cheerfully for the circumstances. Mic. She let out the breath she'd been holding. "Are you okay?"  
"Yeah, yeah," she lied, rubbing her forehead. "I'm fine. I just thought you might be...never mind."  
"I know, we're all worried too."  
"We?" she asked, confused.  
"Yeah, we're all over the Admirals house, waiting for news."  
"Oh," she replied simply.  
"Listen, I wanted to talk to you-"  
"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about something to," Mac interrupted.  
"Okay..." he said.  
"Why don't you come over here?"  
"Alright luv. I'll be right there."  
"Bye."  
"Bye, Sarah." They both hung up.  
During the long hours of the night, Mac had a lot of time to think. And of course, the only logical thing - or person - to think of, was Harm. She loved Harm. He may not love her, but she couldn't marry a man she didn't love. And she didn't love Mic. Harm must know she loved him, she practically said it that night on the ferry, but she didn't want to think of that. Then she remembered her dream and she pinched her lips together, her face twisted as she tried not to cry, but to no avail.  
  
0430 EST  
MIC BRUMBY'S CAR  
  
Mic had a bad feeling about what might happen when he walked through her door, but he had to know what Sarah really felt. She had been so distant ever since...well, he really couldn't remember a time when she wasn't distant while they had been together. But it was especially since they got engaged. It seemed almost as if she was just with him for the sake of being loved by somebody. And it sure as hell didn't seem right.  
He pulled up to her apartment building and walked to the door. Taking a deep breath, he knocked.  
  
0500 EST  
MAC'S APARTMENT  
  
She opened the door, knowing who was on the other side and what she had to say.  
"Hi Mic," she said, not even faking a smile. Shit, Mic thought. He knew this was the end.  
"Sarah," he said and nodded. He knew what he was going to ask was now obsolete. "You've been crying," he said, reaching out to wipe the tears away from her cheek, knowing it may be the last time he ever got to touch her.  
"It-it was just a bad dream," she replied.  
"Do you want to talk about it, luv?" he asked, prolonging the inevitable.  
"No, come in," Mac said, stepping out of the doorway. She walked into the kitchen and Mic followed. Stopping in front of the sliding glass doors, she watched the rain as it beat down, relentlessly, on the earth; and she knew Harm was out in that storm.  
She had her hand on her face, the connecting elbow resting on her other hand, which was across her chest. As she dropped her hands and fiddled with he ring on her finger, she started to speak,  
"Mic," she said, a bit of shakiness in her voice, "I can't marry you." As much as he was prepared to hear it, nothing could numb the pain in his heart at that moment.  
"I know," he said, as she took the ring off. She turned around and took his hand in hers. She slowly opened his palm and placed the ring in it, then closed it around the little metal circle. "You love Harm," he stated, flatly, trying his hardest not to let his voice crack. Mac nodded, a tear running down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly.  
"I always knew he would win someday," he continued, "but I had to hold on to you as long as I could." He looked over Mac's shoulder, out the window, then back at her. "I still love you, Sarah," he said, kissing her cheek before turning around and walking out the door.  
Mic stalked off to his car and slammed the door shut as soon as he was in. He was soaking wet, but didn't give a damn. As he drove back to his apartment, he still held the ring clenched in his fist, as if, by holding on to the ring, he could hold on to Sarah just a little while longer.  
  
0515 EST  
MAC'S APARMENT  
  
As soon as the door had closed, Mac walked back over to the phone, expressionless. The truth was, she hadn't any idea what she felt. She was sad; but she wasn't sure if it was about Mic being gone or Harm being gone, or both. She was angry; but she want sure if she was mad at herself for the mess she had gotten herself into, or for the mess Harm had gotten them into, or both. And she was most of all confused; but, when you are confused - being so confused - it's hard to tell exactly what it is that you are confused about.  
So she sat down and, again, stared out the glass door at the pouring down rain, expressionless. Then her mind slowly lost the battle against her tired, aching body, and she drifted off to sleep once more.   
  
The shark was still closing in on Harm, who was still at the bottom of the Atlantic. A look of pure hatred was in the sharks eyes, but, if Harm was on dry land, you could have seen the tears in his.  
Then, out of the blue, came a whirlwind of what seemed like just a blur at the time. But soon there was blood in the water and the whirlwind gradually slowed down. What made up the whirlwind soon came to look like little people. They were riding on sea horses, cheering as the carcass of the shark landed on the ocean floor, just yards away from Harm.  
Once satisfied that the shark was dead, they began tending to Harm. They were all over him, their mini swords and spears cutting through the cords of the parachute. In no time they had untangled him and pushed him to the surface. Harm, who had been watching these this with the little breath that was left in him, finally took a huge gulp of air. But when he turned to thank the little people, they were gone.  
  
0530 EST  
NORTH ATLANTIC OCEAN  
  
As the sun started to rise in the east (at least he knew which way dry land was now), Harm thought he heard the faint sounds of a helicopter. The ocean was a bit calmer now. The rain had stopped and with it the lightning. Gradually - way to slow for the Commander - the sound grew louder until he could actually see the helicopter. He thrashed around, praying they would see him. His body was more weary than ever now.  
Finally a man dove out the side of the helicopter and before he knew it, Harm was being raised in midair, on his way to safety.  
Once inside the helicopter, he gave weak salutes to the crew and said,  
"Nice of you to drop by," before giving in, and passing out.  
  
0545 EST  
MAC'S APARTMENT  
  
The phone rang sharply in her ear as she struggled to pick her head up off the counter. When she realized what the noise was, she was immediately alert. A quick check of her internal clock told her she had been sleeping for a half an hour.  
She quickly picked up the phone, praying they hadn't called earlier and she'd missed it while she was sleeping. The phone to her ear, she took a deep breath,  
"Hello," she said, her voice steadier than she felt.  
"Mac, it's AJ," said the familiar voice of her CO.  
"Hello, sir," she said.  
"Quit the sirring, Mac. They found Harm." On my God, she thought, her heart beating at a   
million miles per hour. She was so excited, the thought didn't even cross her mind that he might be dead. She shut her lips tightly together, willing herself not to cry again. When she got up the courage she said,  
"He's okay?" trying to stay calm.  
"Yes, he's okay. Their taking him to the med center at Andrews. It's closer."  
"Thank you, sir," she said, ready to hang up."  
"Wait, Mac, what are you going to do?" he asked, catching her at the last second.  
"I'm driving down there, sir?"  
"Well...where's Brumby?"  
"He..." she said, taking a deep breath, "I really don't know where Mic is, sir." There was silence. "There won't be a wedding, sir," she said, then hung up before the Admiral could respond.  
She grabbed her keys and ran out the door, taking the step two at a time to the parking lot. She ran to her car, through the rain, which was still coming down there, though not in the Atlantic. Fumbling with her keys, she got even wetter, but was finally successful in opening her door and starting the engine. She drove off to Andrews Air Force Base, pushing the speed limit. As she drove, she remembered her dreams and hoped nothing like them had happened to Harm  
  
0630 EST  
ANDREWS AIR FORCE BASE, MEDICAL CENTER  
  
Mac pushed her way through the bustling hallways of the medical center, inquiring anyone who looked like they had half a brain, as to where they might be taking Harm. They told her he was already in the trauma center and that she'd have to wait, because no one was allowed in there.  
She waited impatiently outside the trauma center for 15 minutes. Then the door opened and a few doctors pushed a bed out the door and started making their way down the hall. Mac, despite his bruised face, knew that it was Harm. She followed them, still soaked to the bone, to his room.  
"Is he okay?" she asked the doctors once Harm was settled.  
"He has a few bruises, a contusion or two, and a stomach full of seawater. Other than that and some mild hypothermia, he's fine. He really needs his rest though," a doctor said politely and left the room.  
Once they had left, Mac sat on the edge of Harm's bed and took his hand. Although his face was marred with bruises, he was still so handsome. He was wrapped in blanket after blanket, and she could tell how cold he was by his icy hand. She kissed it gently.  
She thought about all their adventures together, and how it all nearly ended. The one thing she didn't want to think about was what she would do if he hadn't survived. A tear ran down her cheek.   
"I almost lost you, Flyboy," she whispered as she squeezed his hand.  
She looked back up to his face and brushed a lock of hair away from his eye. She leaned in and kissed his forehead, wanting so badly for him to wake up, but knowing he needed to sleep, something she needed too. But there was no chance on earth anyone could get her to sleep. Unconsciously, her hand reached out to his cheek and stroked it lovingly. She had a fleeting thought of why the others weren't at the hospital yet, but, as I said, it was fleeting, because she didn't really care anymore.  
Then his head moved. Mac's eyes quickly darted to his, which were just opening. She could see the drained look in his eyes. He was utterly exhausted. He tried his best to grin his flyboy grin, but it was weak. His smile may have been weak, but there was no doubting the light in his eyes as soon as they set upon Mac.  
"Hi," Mac said softly, tears glistening in her chocolate brown eyes. Harm didn't speak, only moved his free hand to Mac's on his cheek. After letting it rest there for a moment, he slowly, painfully, reached to her hair and combed the wet mass with his fingers. He gently pulled her head towards his pressed his lips to hers. This kiss wasn't like the one at her engagement party. This time, their feelings flowed freely from their lips and there was no holding back. When Mac pulled away, Harm looked at her hand and said,  
"You took it off." She nodded,  
"I couldn't marry him. He's not the man I want, Harm, the man I need." She reached her free hand to his face and touched it softly, "But you are," she finished, sounding almost like a question. Then she leaned in and gave him a light kiss.  
"I really wish I hadn't turned you away that night," Harm said, "I just-I just wasn't ready I guess. But...I love you, Sarah." Her heart leaped at the his use of her first name. Funny, she never felt that way when Brumby said her first name. She smiled, a tear of joy running down the soft skin of her cheek.  
"I love you too," she replied, feeling as though a massive weight had been lifted off her shoulders. It felt so good to say those words, that she just wanted to repeat them over and over. She looked into his sea-green eyes, rimmed with red, and bit her lip. Her dreams popped back into her head and she couldn't take it. Fuck being strong, she thought, and threw her arms around the man she loved, crying on his shoulder. He wrapped one arm around her and squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. She was so warm and it felt so good to hold her in his arms...finally.  
"It's okay," he said, "I'll be okay." She pulled herself away from him and sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing her forehead.  
"It's not just that," she said, wiping her tears away. "It's, I had these dreams...or I guess it was just one dream...I - I don't know." She shook her head, trying to shake away the thoughts with it.  
"What? Why are they so upsetting?" Harm asked. She proceeded to tell him her dreams, but not without a few tears.  
"But I'm stupid to be worrying about a stupid dream...right?" she concluded her explanation. "I mean, nothing like that could ever happen."  
"Actually," Harm said, not wanting to upset her more, but not wanting to lie to her either, "I did get into some trouble with my parachute, but I cut myself loose. It wasn't that big of a deal." There was a look of pure horror and shock on her face. "Sarah, I'm fine," he reassured her.  
Mac leaned over and kissed up his neck and over his bruised cheekbone. She ran her hands through his salty hair and held them there, saying,  
"Harmon David Rabb Jr., don't ever do anything like that to me again," she said in a motherly tone, mixed with sniffles.  
"I'll try," was his reply. He pulled her into his arms and held her there. Tomorrow there would be a lot of things to clear up, but that would be tomorrow. Carpe diem.   
  
  
Author's Note: in case you didn't know "Carpe Diem" mean "Sieze the day".  
Author's Note: If anyone wanted to know where i got the strange idea for the dream...you may email me.  
  
FEEDBACK!!! 


End file.
